Adoption is a great opportunity for couples or potential parents who are not able to have children, to have their own child to love and care for. There are many different reasons people choose to adopt children. Adoption provides a chance for unwanted children to become loved and live a happy life. What would Steve Jobs, President Clinton, or athletes such as Eric Dickerson and Daunte Culpepper have done if they were not adopted? This paper will provide a brief description on the benefits of adoption and how it can help you as well as others. It will also tell about the process of adopting a child as well as popular countries to adopt from.
One of the main reasons people choose to adopt is because they may be unable to conceive children. Others adopt because they are prone to miscarriages and do not want to risk the chances of loosing another baby. Some parents might also adopt their step children or children of relatives who have financial or other problems (Mak 2010).
The process of adopting a child can be lengthy. A ten step overview taken from the National Adoption Center website states that the first step into adoption is to learn about it. The second step is to select an adoption agency. Next, a home study will be completed. The fourth step is to search for a child, then exchange information with the child’s agency. Once you learn that you have been selected for a child, you can then meet and visit with the child. The eighth step is to receive a placement or date you will receive the child. After that is done, you can finalize your adoption. The last step in the process is to live happily as an adoptive family.
There are two types of adoption available: domestic adoption, and international adoption. Domestic adoption is the type available in the United States. International adoption is the type where you adopt from another country. Domestic adoption includes five different types of ways to adopt: closed adoption, open adoption, agency adoption, private adoption, and fost-adopt adoption. A closed adoption is where there is no identifying information about the birth family or the adoptive family. An open adoption is where some form of association between the birth family, adoptees, and adoptive parents is allowed. This can include picture sharing, phone calls, or face-to-face interaction. An agency adoption is where the process is arranged by a public or private adoption agency. A private adoption is one that is arranged through a middle person such as a lawyer, physician, or other facilitator, rather than a licensed adoption agency. A fost-adopt adoption is where a child is placed into a home as a foster child, with the expectation that the child will become legally free and be adopted by the foster parents (“National Adoption Center”, 2011).
With an international adoption, there are two different types of processes. One of them is the Hague Convention adoption process (convention adoptions). This process requires consent from the birthparent or legal guardian. The other process is the Non-Hague adoption process where the child either has no parents or has a sole or surviving parent who is unable to care for the child and has, in writing, irrevocably released the child for emigration and adoption (Katherine at Legal Language, 2012).
The cost of adoption is another important topic. Domestic adoptions are generally the least expensive methods. They usually involve little or no cost and states often provide subsidies to adoptive parents. Agency and private adoptions can range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more depending on a variety of factors such as travel expenses, services provided, birthmother expenses, state requirements, and others. International adoptions can range from $7,000 to $30,000 (The Staff at Adoption Media, 2011).
Adoption is a very positive process that has many benefits to yourself as well as others. Those that receive the main benefits are the birthmother, the adoptee, and the parent. The birthmother benefits greatly if not the most. She could not have the help or money it takes to raise a child or she could also just not be ready to have a child in her life at the time. Adoption also eliminates the need of an abortion, which can put extreme stress on the birthmother. In the case of the adoptee, children are given a multitude of opportunities they may not have otherwise had. Simply being provided a safe home and having parents that love you is a benefit in itself. In the case of the parent, adoption can replace the empty feeling couples have who wish to have a child but for whatever reason have been unsuccessful in the past (“American Adoption Agency”, 2007).
In conclusion, adoption can change the life of a child in need by providing them with a home and a loving family that they can call their own. Putting up a child for adoption is a great alternative to an abortion. Adoption makes it so everyone (including single parents and same sex couples) can have their own child even if you are unable to conceive one yourself.
Create a free website
Miranda Lambert is an extremely well known and talented Country singer. Over her few years of being a singer she has received many honorable awards for her music. Not only is she an amazing musician but she’s also an amazing person and role model as well. She has had such a positive influence on country music and her fans and is still getting better with time.
Miranda was born on November, 10 1983 in Longview, Texas. Her parents, Rick and Bev Lambert, ran a private detective agency together and her father was also a skilled musician and guitarist. They were Miranda’s leading reason for her interest in country music due to the fact that they enjoyed country themselves and would take her to country concerts. After a few bad business decisions, Bev and Rick’s company lost profit and the family fell into poverty. The Lambert’s ended up losing their house and becoming homeless. During this hard time they got support from family and friends who allowed them to stay in their homes for a little while. Eventually, they earned enough money to buy an old, run down house that was almost bulldozed and deemed unlivable. They fixed it up and called it home. This is why Miranda’s best hit, The House that Built Me, is so emotional and powerful for her. The ironic thing is Miranda did not even write this melody. It was originally written and given to Blake Shelton to perform but as soon as Miranda heard it she was brought to tears and Blake just couldn’t help but to give the song to her. The song was surprisingly on point about the Lambert’s home, so on point that Rick and Bev refused to believe that Miranda didn’t write it herself. The reason this song did so well is because it has a highly relatable story line, as do many of Miranda’s songs. Bev once stated that she hears sad stories all the time that people have related to Miranda’s songs and she cries during every single one of them. 
Once the Lambert’s were all settled in, Miranda started to focus on her dream of becoming a singer. She started her first band at the age of seventeen called Texas Pride. Miranda went on to graduate early in order to further pursue her dream of becoming a singer. In 2001 she began auditioning for a show called Nashville Star. Miranda nailed the auditions and quickly settled herself in Nashville to be able to compete in the competition. She sang her way to the top three but was then unfortunately voted off the show. No hard feelings for Miranda however, she was quoted saying that she was glad that she didn’t win because the winner had to go in and make a record in the next few weeks and she wasn’t ready for that. After being released from the show, Lambert was quickly pulled into the recording studio but left in frustration after the songs she was given to sing were too “poppy” for her liking. This is what drove Miranda to want to learn how to play guitar. That evening she had her dad teach her so that she could begin to write her own songs. In 2004, Miranda was signed to her very first record label with Epic Records. This is where she released her first single “Me and Charlie Talking.” Just one year later she released her first major-label album, Kerosene. It quickly jumped to the top of the country billboards and was being highly praised by fans and critics alike. Some people were surprised by Miranda’s fiery side that showed through in her music. Miranda simply stated "I don't write about angels, Jesus, happy days, kids. I grew up on drinkin', cheatin', love gone bad." To little surprise, the album sold more than 900,000 copies and won her many awards. 
In 2007, Miranda released her second album titled Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This album also shot straight to the top of the country billboards. Miranda actually changed record labels in-between her first album and this album. She was now a part of Columbia Records. In this album came one of Miranda’s more close to heart tracks, Gunpowder and Lead. This track was so near and dear to her heart because when she was a child living at home with her parents, they would take in families dealing with domestic violence and allow them to stay in a safe place where they could be away from the danger. Due to this, she saw a lot of sad cases and heard a lot of stories. This song was written by Miranda about those people who are afraid to get out of their dangerous relationship. She has said that some people have come up to her and thanked her for giving them the courage to finally leave. She says that that’s the biggest award she can ever possibly get out of her job, knowing that she’s positively affected somebody’s life.
By the time 2009 rolled around Miranda was already soaring her way to the top of country music. She released her third studio album, Revolution. Once again, Miranda hit number one on the country music billboards. This album was said to show her softer side and everybody knew the reason why was because of her long time boyfriend of the time, Blake Shelton. The critics couldn’t get enough! Rolling Stone magazine said “Lambert remains country's most refreshing act, and not just because she makes firearms seem like a matter-of-fact female accessory." From this album came the single “The House That Built Me,” that stayed number one on the charts for four weeks straight and went platinum. It is still Miranda’s greatest hit to date. “White Liar” was released before ‘The House That Built Me” and became her first top five billboard hit. As if the album needed to get anymore attention, the music video for “Only Prettier” went viral! With the help of Revolution Miranda became the record holder for the female with the greatest amount of nominations given by an organization in a year.
Miranda’s most recent album, Four the Record. definitely did not disappoint. She managed to get yet another album to hit number one on the country music billboards, making her the only female country singer to ever make this accomplishment. This album is very diverse with emotion and sound. The hit single “Over You,” is one of Miranda’s more emotional songs because it was written by both her and Blake about Blake’s deceased brother. When giving their acceptance speech for Song of the Year. Miranda couldn’t help but to burst into tears. She apologized and then went on to say how emotional the song was for both her and Blake. Along with this album, Miranda also release an album with her new group “The Pistol Annies.” The group was made up of Miranda, Ashley Monroe and Angaleena Presley. The group was originally made just for fun but when their debut album, Hell on Heels. hit the stores it soared to number one on the billboards! Fans couldn’t get enough of the group.
Usually juggling two albums would be enough for a mere mortal to handle but not for Miranda. She also made a track for the “Hunger Games” soundtrack, while planning her wedding, setting up her honey moon, still recording songs for the albums, and setting up her tour dates. She was actually doing business at her rehearsal dinner to insure that “Mama’s Broken Heart” would definitely be on the album. 
Lambert is also big with charities; she gives and helps out with six total. The ones she is involved in are American Humane Association, Clothes Off Our Back, Hero in Heels, Mary Kay Ash Charitable Foundation, Musicians on Call, and Wish Upon a Hero Foundation. Basically, the causes support abuse, animals, cancer, women, philanthropy, children, human rights and health. Miranda is a sucker for animals, every time she finds a stray dog wandering around she takes it in and adopts it. She once joked around by saying “I think they look to see if we’re home and then say ‘they’re there, drop it off!’” 
A role model is somebody that one can look up to, someone who is virtually flawless and continuously challenges themselves to do better. Miranda Lambert is the perfect example of a role model because not only does she sing relatable songs and help out with the charities, but she has also experienced those heart-ships herself. To anybody who has ever been in poverty or lost their home she has experienced that and it hasn’t even phased her for a second. She never once complained about what she didn’t have, she just accepted it and thought about what she could do to make the situation better. Her family had to hunt to survive during those hard months but you don’t ever catch Miranda talking about it. Also, because of witnessing the effects and damages of abuse first-hand, she completely understands what someone dealing with domestic violence is going through. Her drive is something that inspires people. Even though she didn’t win Nashville Star she looked at it as a positive, realizing that she realistically wasn’t ready for the spotlight yet. Even after she was offered a deal she turned it down so that she could stay true to herself and what she wanted her sound to be. Most celebrities put too much thought into what the paparazzi post and let it get to their heads. Miranda simply ignores the slander because she knows who she is as a person and she’s comfortable with that. That’s the type of person little girls should be looking up to. She’s a tough girl that knows how to stand up for herself but has a heart of gold.
Next time somebody thinks role model in their head, Miranda Lambert should pop up. At the age of 29 she has already accomplished more than most people will accomplish in their lifetime and has done it all flawlessly. She has been voted number 90 on the 100 greatest women count! Beautiful, talented, edgy, caring; what else could one really ask for of a girl? 
All of paragraphs one and two. http://blog.newsok.com/bamsblog/2010/05/13/miranda-lambert-parents-tell-the-story-behind-her-hit-the-house-that-built-me/
Second paragraph. http://www.biography.com/people/miranda-lambert-369610
Third-Sixth Paragraphs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miranda_Lambert
Seventh Paragraph. http://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/miranda-lambert
Seventh Paragraph. http://www.peoplepets.com/people/pets/article/0,,20645504,00.html
Just this paragraph. http://www.countryuniverse.net/2008/03/27/100-greatest-women-90-miranda-lambert/
Self-Reliance. ClassZone Book Finder. Book Adventure is a child called it book essay a fun, free way to motivate your child to read! Kids in grades K-8 can search for books, read them offline, come back to quiz on what they’ve read. And I called the author, reporter to reporter, to a child called it book essay let who is jesus christ essay him know. Essays: First Series Essays: …. Offers news, comment and features about the British arts scene with sections on books, films, music, theatre, art and architecture. Maybe English is not how to write an english literature essay introduction your main Essay on islam and science subject, but does not a child called it book essay a child called it book essay mean that there is no need look for college essay help Lolita is a 1955 whale rider essay leadership novel written a child called it book essay by Russian American novelist Vladimir Nabokov. The Science of Success. Lolita is a 1955 novel written by Russian American novelist Vladimir Nabokov. Find A+ essays, research papers, book notes, course notes and writing tips. Home Up Texts Search Look Up Word Discuss Site Map Transcendentalism Ralph Waldo Emerson Contact. A few of annotated bibliography topic ideas us, however, a child called it book essay are more like. Most of us have genes that make us as hardy as dandelions: able to take root and survive almost anywhere. Please tell us if you are a student, parent, teacher or librarian Teacher Login berkeley essay competition 2012 / a child called it book essay Registration. Teachers: If your a child called it book essay school or district qualitative thesis proposal has purchased print student editions, register canning house spanish essay competition now to access the full online version of the book Pearson Prentice Hall and a child called it book essay our other respected imprints provide educational materials, technologies, assessments essay on need to promote world peace and related services across the secondary curriculum Our Professionals will present you Essay Help Online. Millions of how to do essay students use StudyMode to jumpstart their assignments By bell hooks. It was introduced in 1979 and began to be formally phased out. During the two years of my overly distracted life, I communicated more to a Dissertation on diabetes research screen than a child called it book essay to the people in english essay the mistaken identity my family. Login to Gradebook and notre dame essay prompts 2014 Learn a child called it book essay More About Engrade Change your selection if you wish to search for solutions in another division. Here’s the Core Reason Why People Hate Jews That No One’s Talking thesis sales letter About. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other. My schedule was so tightly sample of gmat essays packed that I
Offers news, comment and features a child called it book essay about the British arts scene with sections on books, films, music, theatre, art and architecture. Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro (CT-03) today spoke on the House Floor to call on Congress to oppose the a child called it book essay repeal of the ACA and massive tax cuts for the wealthiest …. quotes in essays indent And I essay on my future goals called the author, reporter to reporter, to let the definition of critical thinking him know. Most of us have genes thesis on reading skills that make us as hardy as dandelions: able to take root and survive almost anywhere. About a child called it book essay six months after my son was born, he a child called it book essay and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. Follow these simple steps to find online resources for your a child called it book essay book “No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!” I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for. Home Up Texts Search Look a child called it book essay Up Word Discuss Site review research paper format Map Transcendentalism Ralph Waldo Emerson Contact. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other
The one child policy, a part of the family planning policy, was a population planning policy of China. And I called the author, reporter to reporter, to let him know. Gingrich writes, "A major purpose of writing Duplicity and Treason was to let readers know how deeply different our enemies among the Islamic Supremacists are from
Millions of students use StudyMode to jumpstart their assignments By bell hooks. During the two years of my overly distracted life, I communicated more to a screen than to the people in my family. Editors’ Note: Though some of the fanfare surrounding Sheryl Sandberg (of Facebook and Lean In fame) has died down, Sandberg is back with herAdd something:
Here it is. I know I have some run on sentences but can not figure out how to reword it. Thank you for your help.
Persuasive Essay about Domestic Abuse
When I was a child and still living with my parents, I dealt with domestic abuse every single day. My father would return home drunk at night after a day of drinking and would be mad about everything that went wrong with his day therefore he would take it all out on me. He would sit there and talk about how I was a mistake, I am the reason why he drinks, I think I am god but I am truly nothing, and would go on and on about how I am such a horrible child who thinks that I know better than everyone around me. It did not matter how hard I tried to get away from my father and the abuse I could not manage to get away from it. Every time that I tried to run my father would stop me and the abuse would just be that much worse. I would go to school and talk to my teachers and my principal or I would go to a friend's house and tell his or her parents, but it no matter who I talked to or how many times it was reported to the police nothing happened because my father and most of the time my mother would lie to the cops. My father would get away with it due to the police officers believing him and my mother over me. My parents would sit there and say that I was lying and saying that I was doing it for attention and that I did not listen to them. It was not very long at all before the police were trying to say that I was just saying these things time and time again for attention because the abuse situation was reported pretty much every day. Every time that the reports were denied the abuse continued to go on and would continue to get that much worse. Not only did I go through abuse from my father, but also from an ex-boyfriend. I was once in a relationship in which I was severally abused by my boyfriend at the time. While in that relationship my ex-boyfriend would punch me with a closed fist, throw me down the steps, kick me in the stomach, and was always abusing me. He abused me so much that I was terrified to call the cops in fear that he would beat me to death and I feared that the cops would not believe me. I thought that if I called the cops my ex-boyfriend would say that I beat myself and left bruises not only for attention, but to get him in trouble at the same time.
This visual shows a teenager that is a high school football player, it also shows that he is a gang member. This is one of the finger signs of a gang member, is he an innocent victim or an undercover gang?
Everyone says that there are too many law enforcement officers, but I do not believe that there are enough law enforcement officers around in the communities, or even total in the United States to address anywhere near the amount of abuse cases that there are in the United States and all around the world. There have been reports of police doing everything in their power to respond to domestic abuse cases and trying to stop abuse from happening, but yet the abuse continues to happen more and more everyday and there are getting to be so many cases of domestic abuse that so many cases go unsolved or have not been dealt with and the police officers cannot keep up with the amount of domestic abuse cases that are happening and continue to happen. Police officers respond and take actions to all the abuse cases that they can and to get domestic abuse under control, but they are still happening every day.
A community gets together to work on supporting the curfew laws to stop teen violence. In this community teen crime has become the topic of discussion.
There have been and continue to be reports of domestic abuse to the police that go unanswered because law enforcement does not have the manpower to respond quickly and thoroughly to investigate every case that is reported. Most police departments are too occupied with other, more endangering crimes respond to domestic abuse cases which allow the domestic abuse to continue and to get a lot worse. There needs to be more strict punishments' and laws against domestic abuse cases.
While officers do everything they possibly can to solve domestic abuse cases, perpetrators are getting off with a slap on the wrist and therefore, many victims feel as if it will do no good to involve the law because there is not enough punishment to go along with the crime being committed and the case of domestic abuse in his or her situation may end up going unanswered. There are too many cases where the abuser is allowed to return to the home without any consequences and therefore, the abusers are repeat offenders, which is another reason why there needs to be harsher punishment and more law enforcement, so that there are not repeat offenders along with more victims being abused and scarred for life. Those abusers who get away with a slap on the hand are repeat offenders because they look at it as if they got away with it once, so therefore, he or she will get away with it time and time again. Most abusers do not fear the consequences of their actions and therefore he or she ends up having a lot more victims.
This visual shows a minister speaking to the people of one community while in church about how to stop teens from killing one another. He speaks on supporting the curfew for teens to be off the streets by 10 p.m.
There is not enough preventative action being taken by law enforcement these days and even though the police officers may do what they can it is not enough, in fact, it is far from being enough. The punishment that is given to the abusers is not enough to stop the abuser from abusing again and needs to be a lot stricter so that hopefully the rate of abuse comes down and there a not near as many is any victims at all. In all domestic abuse cases the abuser gets away with what he or she did because the punishment is weak and therefore the domestic abuse continues to happen a lot more frequently and a lot more intense and severe instead of being prevented when the abuse is happening and the reports are coming in. There need to be a lot more law enforcement officers so that there are no cases that go unattended, unsolved, and so that the rates of domestic abuse start going down and the abuse begins to stop. Abusers should get a much stronger punishment in the case that it will help prevent at least one case of domestic abuse and there will hopefully not be as many victims if any at all.
1 out of 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. It is estimated that for each male or female who seeks help, at least four or five of them remain silent. Over 70% of Domestic Abuse is non-physical also known as coercive. Some types of non-physical abuse include emotional abuse, psychological abuse, economic abuse and sexual abuse. In a phone survey that was done over 2,800 women, 26% of women making more than $50,000 a year, admitted to being in an abusive relationship.
There has been no evidence, however, that girls who witness their mothers' being abused having a higher risk of being abused as adults.
There are over 8.8 million children who witness domestic violence each year. 61% of domestic violence cases go unreported due to the victims thinking the police will not believe him or her.
A child being exposed to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for continuing violent behavior from one generation to the next. Every day there are about 30,000 active orders of protection in the State of Illinois.
The victim of assaultive behavior has no part in the attacks against her, no matter how provocative or inappropriate the woman's behavior, it neither justifies nor excuses the man's abuse.
What can or will you do the next time that you witness domestic abuse or know that there is domestic abuse currently happening to someone you know or love to make sure that the abuser gets the punishment that he or she deserves and does not get away with just a slap on and finding more victims to abuse?
CNET Networks. (2008). In the CNET Networks, Inc BNET. Retrieved 01-10-2009, from findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2194/is_7_71/ai_89973 552
Washington State Office of the Attorney General. Retrieved 01-10-2009, from atg.wa.gov/page.aspx?ID=2344
American Institute on Domestic Violence (2001). Retrieved on 01-10-2009, from, aidv-usa.com/Statistics.htm.
EF_Sean Threads: 6
Author: Sean EssayForum [Moderator]
"Everyone says that there are too many law enforcement officers," Everyone? Really? No one at all is calling for more police officers to be hired anywhere in America? (Hint: these are rhetorical questions. A large segment of the public, generally those who self-identify as conservative, tends to generally favor strong police forces.)
"This visual shows a teenager that is a high school football player, it also shows that he is a gang member. This is one of the finger signs of a gang member, is he an innocent victim or an undercover gang?" With the "this visual" thing, which you use again later, will there actually be visual aids as part of a presentation? If not, this is confusing. Also, the two visuals seem to have nothing to do with domestic abuse, per se.
What exactly is your argument? You say that we need more police officers, but also that the punishment for domestic abuse isn't strong enough. These could both be true, but you present them together, as if they were both part of the same argument rather than two separate arguments. If the punishment for domestic abuse is too light to be an effective deterrent, then having more police officers won't help. If the punishment is increased, but police don't have the resources to prosecute domestic abusers, then that won't help either. So, you can argue that we need to both increase the number of police officers and the severity of sentences, but you have to say this, instead of leaving it for the reader to figure out.
Also, you might want to deal with some of the other reasons domestic abuse cases are problematic for police. For instance:
In the event of non-physical, non-sexual abuse, most of the behavior that qualifies is verbal, and not even considered illegal.
Even many acts of physical or sexual abuse leave little trace evidence. Those attacks that do leave obvious bruising/tearing/scarring tend to occur in the home, with no witnesses. This means that many abuse cases come down to he said/she said affairs in court, with the victim's word pitted against that of the accused. Given that our legal system assumes the accused (in any crime) is innocent until proven guilty, this makes abuse case difficult to prosecute, especially if there is little or no physical evidence of abuse.
In many cases of physical abuse, the victim will not agree to testify against her abuser, or will back out afterwards, either because she believes her abuser will change, or because she is still emotionally in thrall to her abuser, or because she is reliant on her abuser for financial support, or for some combination of these reasons.
Police hate dealing with domestic abuse calls, because, especially in cases of spousal abuse, the victim (usually the wife) may well turn on the police as soon as they attempt to restrain her husband / boyfriend.
Finally, with the exception of child abuse, it is difficult for most people to understand why someone in an abusive domestic relationship would not leave the person who was abusing them. This influences the other problems listed above. For instance, a man who is brought to court is accused by his wife of abusing her for a period of twenty years. She has some photos of bruising as evidence, but there are no witnesses to any of the attacks, and no record of injuries requiring hospitalization. The husband calls several character witnesses in his defense, and claims that his wife is alleging abuse with a view to winning a more favorable divorce settlement. It would be difficult enough for the prosecution to win such a case, but the defense also has the powerful counter -- "well, if he was such an abusive monster, why did his wife stay with him for twenty years?"
Hmmmm. this post is getting longer than I intended. However, you get the point -- there are many, many reasons why domestic abuse remains a serious social problem, and your essay needs to deal with more of them than it currently does if it is to be effective.
EF_Kevin Threads: 8
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads! [Contributor] 129
Wow, Sean gives really excellent feedback. To me, and perhaps to other readers, this is a valuable piece of writing because it bears your soul. It's hard to be eloquent when doing that, so I bet you have a special introspective strength that will make you great for certain things. I bet you write great poetry. with this essay, it is just not good as a persuasive essay!
Er. this is a persuasive essay, so let's follow a strong format.
First sentence should grab the reader's attention. Say something unexpected and intriguing.
Next, end the first paragraph with a statement of the specific argument you are trying to make.
For a few paragraphs, support that argument with strong evidence.
With one brief paragraph, acknowledge the OPPOSITE argument and tel why it is incorrect.
Write a conclusion paragraph where you review the argument you made.
You know, your background is obviously a source of great strength and insight because of the way adversity leads to wisdom -- isn't it strange how an essay about this sort of background is so common because suffering results from alcohol abuse so commonly. you can't have your essay be common, so adjust that MAIN ARGUMENT to be unique and intriguing.
One more point: In a persuasive essay, you want to energize the reader and inspire him or her to adopt your view. That means tha you cannot drain the reader's energy by including unnecessary sentences. Cut out all unnhelpful sentences. The way to do that is to read the essay as if you had never seen it, and notice what effect each sentence has on you.
Cut,cut, cut! And refine that central argument so that it's clear from the start.